If I could say one thing about myself, it would be that my heart, soul, and intentions are pure. All of my actions are sincere. I’m really not a spiteful or mean person, although I’ve allowed others to make me feel that way in the past.
Whenever I didn’t want to share something that was mine, I was called selfish. Whenever I didn’t want to do a favor for someone, I was called a fake friend. Whenever I wanted my alone time, I was called mean. Sadly, I believed these things about myself and began to identify with these derogatory terms. It took years upon years for me to get a clear understanding of myself, and to realize that these perceptions really aren’t who I am.
Just because someone chooses not to share something doesn’t make them selfish. The best way to describe selfish is if a person has enough of something for themself, as well as others, and they choose to not share. But then again, does that really make them selfish, especially if it belongs to them? People work hard for what they have. If they choose to share it or not shouldn’t equate to selfishness.
I’ve always been the type of person that considers myself as independent. I prefer to handle things on my own rather than reaching out to people. This can be good and bad for several reasons, however that’s just how I carried myself. I rarely ask anyone for favors. There were times that I’ve went out of my way for people on several occasions, and the few times when I said no, I was looked at as a fake friend. Looking back, I cared a lot about how others perceived me, so to avoid being looked at as fake or mean, I put others before me, even when I felt at my lowest.
One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned is that having a clear understanding and value of self is extremely important. People will paint so many different images of you based on how they perceive you, and if you’re gullible, you’ll fall for it. You have to be the artist of your own image. You must hold the paintbrush to your own canvas. Never allow anyone to taint your image. Your perception of self is all that matters.
If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t have accepted others perceptions of me. Til this day, I sometimes struggle with removing these perceptions. It’s all a work in progress. But the greatest thing about it all, is the fact that I’m loving the progression to perfection.
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