A quality of mine that I admire is the fact that I’m brutally honest with myself. If I’m hurt, I’m not going to lie to myself and say that I don’t care. If I’m having a bad day, I’m not going to convince myself to believe that I’m okay.
Everyday, I devote time for self-reflection. During this time, I have the most truthful conversations with myself. I point out different things within me that I need to work on. One thing that I’ve come to realize is that I still have a few insecurities within me, and they are hindering my self-growth.
Sometimes I sit and wonder, at what point did these insecurities begin? As a child, everything seems so one dimensioned, like there’s only one right way of living or being. The things you may feel confident in (such as self) may not be the “cool” thing or the thing that gets you accepted by your peers. And as a result, you’re possibly picked on and start to believe that you’re less than others. Luckily, I didn’t have that experience. However, I was still criticized and judged a lot.
“That doesn’t make any sense.” “Why would you do that?” “You’re this..” “You’re that…” All of these things made me second guess myself, and honestly I became a puzzle that was put together by the pieces of others opinions of who I should be. I’ve matured my mental and realized that I have to be the one to create the pieces to my own puzzle and live a life that I only dreamed of…. But, it’s sometimes difficult.
I still hear the critical voices of the past in my head. I still sometimes try to accommodate them and do exactly what they’re saying. I even feel as if I’m under pressure to do things traditionally and not my own way. And sadly, it brings about a feeling of insecurity, as if I’m less than when I know that I’m way more than I sometimes perceive myself to be.
Our minds can be our own worst enemy, but luckily there’s ways to make it our best friend. When a thought of insecurity comes to mind, combat it by reminding yourself that it’s not true. When you’re feeling self critical, remind yourself of all the great things you possess.
It’s not something that happens overnight, but start taking small steps today that will help you feel confident within yourself. With a little practice everyday, I guarantee you will feel and be the best that you can be.