This has got to be the longest that I’ve experienced writers block. It’s been over a month since I’ve last posted. The thoughts just aren’t coming to my head. I have no idea on where to begin or what I should write about. I’ll let my soul take the lead.
Yes, I’ll let you lead. I’ll let you lead me to the thoughts that are deep within. I’ll let you open the deepest and darkest parts inside me. I’ll give you a pen to write down everything that you feel. I’ll let you vent if you need to vent, especially when no one else is there to listen.
I have dreams, so many dreams. That’s all I seem to do nowadays. I dream of where I want to be in life. I dream of how bad I want things to happen over night. Maybe I’m a day dreamer, perhaps.
But right now, it’s late at night, so am I really day dreaming? This could be a nightmare.
I’m wide awake pondering on life and its whereabouts. I’m curious to know where it will take me. Will I really get the chance to experience my destiny? The destiny that I really want to create? I guess it’s really not my choice after all.
Is this the part where I resurrender? Is that even a word? Can this really be done? Am I playing tug-o-war? I’ve done this countless of times, surrendering to the universe, but somehow taking back my control.
Wait, did I mention “my control”? If it’s “my control”, then why am I not where I want to be at this point in time? Truth be told, it’s not my control. It’s the control of the universe.
I guess it’s time for me to get out of the way again, the way of my own self. Yes, I’m in my own way.
“Clear the path”, is what I need to keep telling myself. Make room for what’s next to come. You keep getting into your own way and stopping all of your blessings. You are your procrastination. You are the one that’s standing hard as a boulder, blocking you from your blessing. Get out of the way!
But I do step out of the way, I do it all the time, and somehow I get back to square one. How can I really move one step closer to my destiny? Will I ever know? Will that truth finally reveal itself? I guess it’s only one way to find out, right?
Consistency and perseverance is what I really need. Those are two skills that I truly lack. It’s hard… really hard, but it wouldn’t hurt to try again. Now here I am, back on this journey.
Maybe this time around, I’ll get to traveling again.